After the farewell: a quiet check-in on how you're doing
The days after a pet's funeral can be the hardest. In a large UK survey, 57.1%[1] of bereaved owners felt they had to hide their grief. This private check-in helps you notice where you are.
- Six statements, about two minutes
- Private: nothing is sent or stored
- Ideas that match how you're feeling
A gentle check-in
Six statements, about two minutes. This isn't a test or a diagnosis, just a moment to notice how you're doing. Your answers stay on this screen and are never saved or sent.
Choose the answer that feels closest for each statement. There are no right answers.
If you're struggling to cope or thinking about harming yourself, please reach out now.
Source: RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results. This check-in is not a clinical assessment
When you're ready: Talk to someone about a memorial or aftercare →
Why it exists
Why the weeks after a farewell can hit hardest
A funeral or farewell gives grief a shape for an afternoon. Then everyone goes home, the collar is still on the hook, and the routine of walks, meals and greetings stops. Many people find that's when it lands. In the RSPCA's pet-loss survey, 72.6% / 69.8% / 65.9%[2] of bereaved owners lost their daily routine or sense of purpose, had trouble concentrating, or had sleep problems, in that order.
Grief for a pet is also less recognized than it should be. Only 13.4%[3] of owners in that survey felt fully understood by the people around them. The check-in doesn't fix that, but it gives you a private moment to take your own feelings seriously.
How it works
Six statements, four simple answers
You'll see six short statements: whether it still feels hard to believe your pet is gone, whether you expect them at the usual times, whether you can get through most of your day, whether you have someone to talk to, whether guilt keeps coming back, and whether happy memories can come without overwhelming you. For each, choose not really, a little, somewhat or very much. There are no right answers and no time limit. The check-in runs in your browser, and nothing is sent to us or saved.
Once all six are answered, you get a gentle, non-clinical summary, "raw and early", "riding the waves" or "finding your feet", with a few ideas that match. You'll also see helplines for the US, UK and Australia, whatever your answers.
The method
How your summary is put together
Each answer scores from 0 to 3, with the three steadier statements (getting through the day, having someone to talk to, happy memories) counted in reverse. A total of 12 or more out of 18 reads as raw and early, 7 to 11 as riding the waves, and 6 or less as finding your feet. The bands aren't a diagnosis. They match you with ideas that tend to suit that stage: rest and one trusted person early on, gentle rituals for the hard hours in the middle, and a lasting memorial later. Extra notes appear if you have no one to talk to, if guilt keeps returning, or if the days are hard to get through, when it suggests a doctor or counselor.
We designed the statements around what research says people commonly experience. Grief after a pet can be intense and lasting: one US study found ~1 in 3[4] grieved for at least six months, and a 2026 UK study in PLOS ONE found 7.5%[5] of people bereaved of a pet met criteria for prolonged grief disorder. By our rough estimate, applied to US pet deaths that could mean around 110,000[6] people a year, which is why the check-in points to real support when your answers suggest it.
66.9%[7]
Example
Example: three weeks after a home farewell
Imagine someone whose dog died three weeks ago. They held a small garden farewell with their partner and sister. Now they answer "very much" to expecting to hear the dog at the door, "somewhat" to disbelief and to getting through the day, and "a little" to guilt, to having someone to talk to and to thinking of happy memories without being overwhelmed. Friends mean well but don't quite get it.
Their summary reads "riding the waves". The check-in suggests planning something gentle for the hardest times of day, like the old morning walk, and a small ritual such as a candle or a letter to the dog. Because they have little support, it adds a note that pet loss support lines and online groups are full of people who understand. Their own next step might be a small moment for when the ashes come home.
Rituals
How small rituals can help after the funeral
A single farewell doesn't have to be the last ritual. Many families mark small moments afterwards: lighting a candle on the first Sunday, planting something in spring, or gathering for a celebration of life when the ashes return. These aren't cures. They're chances to remember together, which is often what pet grief lacks.
The farewell planner works for these later rituals too, and the memorial tree finder suggests something living to plant. Our article on choosing a ceremony without promising a grief outcome is honest about what rituals can and can't do.
What helped you most in the first weeks?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Everyday life
Work, friends and the "just a pet" problem
Going back to work can be hard. In the RSPCA's survey, 28.4%[8] couldn't take time off after their pet died, and in the US only 11%[9] of employers offer paid pet bereavement leave. If you can, take a day or a half day, even unpaid, around the farewell.
If someone says "it's just a pet", it says more about them than about your loss. Find the people who get it: a friend who has lost an animal, an online pet loss group, or a pet bereavement support line such as Tufts University's free Pet Loss Support Helpline, staffed by trained volunteers. Our about page explains what we can and can't help with, and why we point to specialist support.
Honest limits
What the check-in is not
It's not a mental health test, a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. It can't see the whole of your life, and a summary from six questions will always be rough. If your grief feels overwhelming, isn't easing after several months, or is getting in the way of daily life, please speak to your doctor or a qualified bereavement counselor.
You can take the check-in as often as you like. Some people use it weekly and notice gradual change, which can be reassuring in itself. If a later memorial gathering appeals, our memorial service planning guide walks through it, or send us a note for local options.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
Which ritual would you most want at a pet's farewell?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What helped you most in the first weeks?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Compared with losing a person, losing your pet felt...
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Free tools to help you plan
Pet loss grief check-in
A private, two-minute check-in on how you're coping, with ideas that match where you are.
Farewell & memorial service planner
Build a simple goodbye: who, where, readings, rituals and a checklist.
Memorial tree finder
Pick a tree for a planting urn that suits your climate, space and pet.
Questions people ask
Is it normal to grieve this much for a pet?
Yes. Research consistently finds pet grief can be as intense as grief for a person. A 2026 UK study found rates of prolonged grief after a pet's death close to those after losing a close friend. Many people are surprised by how hard it hits, and that's normal.
How long does grief for a pet last?
There's no set timeline. Many people feel the sharpest pain in the first weeks, with waves around anniversaries and routines. In one US study, ~1 in 3[4] of owners grieved for at least six months. If it isn't easing at all after several months, talk to a professional.
Did holding a funeral help with grief?
For some people, yes, and for others it makes little difference. In one Japanese survey, about 30%[10] of owners felt a funeral would help them avoid regret. A farewell gives grief a shared moment; it doesn't decide how grief unfolds afterwards.
Is my check-in data stored?
No. The check-in runs entirely in your browser. Your answers aren't sent to us or saved anywhere, and they disappear when you close the page.
Where can I find pet bereavement support?
Many animal charities and vet schools run pet loss support lines or online groups, and some counselors specialize in pet bereavement. Your vet may know local options. If you're in crisis, contact a general crisis line such as 988 in the US, Samaritans in the UK or Lifeline in Australia.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] 57.1% felt they had to hide their grief after a pet died, and 57.8% perceive stigma around pet loss. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [2] After losing a pet, 72.6% lost their daily routine or sense of purpose, 69.8% had trouble concentrating and 65.9% had sleep problems. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [3] Only 13.4% of bereaved pet owners felt fully understood by others. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [4] A 2009 Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic study of 106 pet owners found nearly 1 in 3 grieved for at least six months. SHRM — Grieving a Pet's Death: Should Workers Get Time Off? (2016), 2009.
- [5] 7.5% of UK adults whose bereavement was the death of a pet met criteria for prolonged grief disorder (PGD). Hyland et al., 'No pets allowed: Evidence that prolonged grief disorder can occur following the death of a pet', PLOS ONE (2026), 2026.
- [6] Each year about 110,000 U.S. pet owners may go on to meet prolonged grief disorder criteria after a pet dies. Our estimate: 1.5M pet cremations (proxy for pet deaths with an engaged owner) x 7.5% PGD rate. How we calculate.
- [7] 66.9% of respondents were surprised by how intense their grief was after losing a pet. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [8] 28.4% of RSPCA survey respondents could not take time off work after their pet died. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [9] Only 11% of employers offer paid pet loss leave, according to an AbsenceSoft survey. AbsenceSoft — Understanding Pet Bereavement Leave and Its Importance to Today's Workforce, 2025.
- [10] A 2023 Suncelmo survey of 391 Japanese pet owners found about 30% believed holding a funeral would help them avoid regret. The Japan News via Asia News Network - As pets become more like family, more owners in Japan are opting for elaborate funerals (Apr 2025), 2023.
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